


They didn't go mad in Azkaban

by Chelonie



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Azkaban, Complete, Dementors, Don’t copy to another site, Other, Psychological Horror
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-01
Updated: 2019-11-01
Packaged: 2021-01-15 19:57:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21258800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chelonie/pseuds/Chelonie
Summary: There are things worse than Dementors.





	They didn't go mad in Azkaban

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TheOnlyCeeCeeJ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheOnlyCeeCeeJ/gifts), [Writers_Den_Discord](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Writers_Den_Discord/gifts).

Severus Snape didn’t go mad in Azkaban.

He went mad in Spinner’s End, watching his magical mother allow a muggle to beat her, when one flick of her wand could have proven her superiority over him. He went mad at Hogwarts, being tormented by bigoted Pureblood Slytherins on one side and Marauders on the other. He went mad when he realised his only chance of belonging was to cut off his only friend and join the Dark Lord. He went mad when he gave the Dark Lord a piece of information that he realised would put Lily Evans directly in front of His wand.

He went mad when he realised that despite begging the two most powerful wizards in Britain to protect Lily Evans, she was dead in his arms.

He went slowly mad over the next seventeen years teaching -  _ teaching -  _ not inventing as he had always dreamed of, but teaching dunderheads how to avoid melting cauldrons and getting themselves killed.

He went mad after the Dark Lord returned, and he had to balance serving two masters again, suffering  _ Cruciatus  _ on a regular basis, being suspected by everyone on both sides.

* * *

Augustus Rookwood didn’t go mad in Azkaban.

He went mad in the Department of Mysteries, listening to unfulfilled prophecies from Merlin’s time. He went mad dipping his arm into the vat of Brains and letting them share their Thoughts with him. He went mad being sent into Faerie for negotiations, and needing to use a Time Turner when the night in Faerie was 100 years in the Real. The sights in Faerie and the sights of the Future were equally awe-inspiring and maddening. He went mad sitting against the arch and listening to the voices from beyond the Veil. He went mad floating in Space. 

He never dared approach the room where Love was studied. He knew he was mad enough.

* * *

Sirius Black didn’t go mad in Azkaban. 

He went mad as a child, in Grimmauld Place, having every living Black relation and nearly all of the portraits trying to mold him into a proper Black heir. His first Yule home after being sorted Gryffindor, his mother cursed him, again and again, while he refused to scream, because screaming meant letting them win. Meant letting Reg hear. He promised his brother he was fine, then curled up in his room and cried.

He went mad in the streets of London, covered in muggle blood, and realising that Wormtail had just pulled the darkest prank ever on the other three Marauders and gotten away with it.

He went mad again in Grimmauld Place, being goaded by Snivellus and Kreacher and shunted aside by Dumbledore and scolded by Molly Weasley and forgotten by his godson until Harry was gone, in danger, and everyone told him to stay behind, stay at home, don't put yourself in danger, and he laughed as he broke out of his prison.

* * *

Bellatrix Lestrange didn’t go mad in Azkaban.

She went mad as a girl, after she figured out how to get past the age wards in the Black Library and started reading books that her parents and teachers would never have let her touch before she had performed the blood rituals that would have allowed her to handle such Dark Magic without losing her mind. By the time she met Tom Riddle, she was fractured into pieces, but he wrapped his Mark around her and though she was never sane again, she remained his deadliest and most feared lieutenant. 

The Dementors were nothing to her, in comparison to the feeling of her mind slowly coming apart again during the years the Dark Lord was away.

* * *

Barty Crouch didn’t go mad in Azkaban. 

There were Dementors, and they screamed, and it was  _ cold cold so cold _ , but they were together there, all of them who truly loved and served their Lord. they weren’t in the same cell, but they could speak, and they could reach across and take a hand. Barty’s cell was between Bastian’s and Antonin’s, so those were the two he could comfort and seek comfort from. 

_ “He’ll come for us. He’ll come back. He promised he would.” _

The Dementors delighted in showing Barty memories of his father, but sometimes mixed it up with that moment that the Mark, always warm and alive, suddenly flared with a pain worse than  _ Crucio  _ and then… nothing. No pain. No colour. No movement. Just an outline of his Master’s Mark in scar white on his arm.

Barty couldn’t remember whose idea it was to attack the Longbottoms. But they were Aurors - they might have known something. In hindsight, they should have attacked Barty’s father, before he sent so many of their fellowship into prison without trials. Before he trapped Barty in this empty existence.

_ "Father, I didn't! I didn't, I swear it, Father, don't send me back to the Dementors... No! Mother, no! I didn't do it, I didn't do it, I didn't do it, I didn't know! Don't send me there, don't let him! I'm your son! I'm your son!" _

Barty might have stayed in Azkaban, if he’d known what awaited him. But Mother was one of them, though she had been too weak to be Marked. She knew she was coming here to her death. But she was freeing Barty so he could find Master. She pressed her fingers to his Mark. Barty kissed her head.

He hoped it was quick for her.

He meant to kill Father as soon as he was strong enough, but he put Barty under  _ Imperio  _ and kept him there for years. 

**You will remain in the house, quiet and unseen.**

**You will go beneath the Invisibility Cloak if anyone is near.**

**You will not touch a wand.**

**You will not think of escape.**

**You will obey Winky in all things.**

Father added to the commands, every time Barty thought of a loophole, every time he considered some way to hurt him, kill him, become a person again. He delighted in having Barty under his complete control. It was like when Barty was a child, and he controlled him by being bigger. Now he controlled him with dark magic. Barty was his puppet, and obeyed him in all things.

Barty wasn’t a person. He wasn’t permitted to speak to him unless spoken to. Barty was to keep my eyes lowered. Barty was to kneel. Barty was never to see the world unless through the fabric of an invisibility cloak.

Barty finally had his Father’s approval, now that he didn’t exist. He stroked Barty’s hair. He spoke softly to him. His touches became gentle. 

Looking back, that’s when Barty broke. He had never spoken softly to him in my life. 

“You’re a good boy, Barty. Do you love your Papa?” he asked, just like he was 4 years old.

Oh how Barty loved his father when he was a boy! How he wanted his approval! How he wanted father to look at him and smile!

“No,” Barty said, because it was the truth. 

Father’s hand clenched in Barty’s hair.

**“You will love me,” ** he ordered.

Father should have known better. He should have known  _ Imperio  _ commands actions, not emotions. 

“Yes, Sir,” Barty said. He was feeling cracks in the bondage for the first time in years. **_I will not think of escape._** He hadn’t forbid Barty to think of revenge. More fool him.

“Do you love me?”

“Yes, Sir,” Barty lied, and he smiled as he imagined how he would make his father pay.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> (I'm not delighted with this piece, but I'm just going to release it into the wild and be done with it. For the Writers Den Discord Group)


End file.
